Another dad feels he has the right to take the life of the child in a custody battle. How horrible for the families, and especially for the mother, who had no control over this father’s decision. Father’s rights?
UPDATE: Read interview with Colton’s mother.
Drumheller, Alberta, CA dad slays his son, takes own life
Sherri Zickefoose, Calgary Herald
Published: Tuesday, September 30, 2008
A bitter custody battle is being blamed as the catalyst that led a Drumheller father to kill his three-year-old son and himself by carbon monoxide poisoning. A childhood friend described Richard Saunders, 34, as a “nice guy” who just last week shared concerns his estranged wife was threatening to move to Ontario with the couple’s young son, Colton. “He said, ‘If you do, it’ll be over my dead body,’ ” said the friend, who didn’t want to be named. Sunday morning, Saunders’ parents made the horrifying discovery.
Police confirmed the murder-suicide involved a lethal level of carbon monoxide in the home. Autopsies were performed Monday morning by the Calgary Medical Examiner’s Office, but cause of death will be determined after toxicology results. Drumheller RCMP confirmed they had previous contact with Saunders and his estranged wife during their tumultuous separation. “It is believed that this incident occurred as a result of an ongoing child custody dispute,” said RCMP Sgt. Patrick Webb.
Saunders, who grew up in Drumheller and attended high school there, moved back to his hometown while going through the separation. In the weeks leading up to the ordeal, he was working as a salesman at a Drumheller auto dealership.
Friends of Colton’s distraught mother say she agreed not to leave Alberta with her son. “They were going through a rough separation,” said one friend. “We had to sit the kids down last night and they couldn’t believe it either. They said ‘Why?’ “
“He was the apple of her eye. Everything she did was Colton. It was all about him. She’s never going to have justice. (Rich’s) gone, too. What can she do?” said the friend. “Everyone thinks these things are so black and white. But it’s not. There’s shades of grey.”
The murder-suicide eerily parallels another Calgary mother’s anguish. Naomi Manuel’s two-year-old son, Cole, was shot to death by his abusive father in a murder-suicide Dec. 1, 2002. “It’s devastating. It’s a very sickening feeling. I feel so very bad for the mother. It’s such unneeded tragedy, I can’t understand it,” said Manuel.
In the years since her son’s murder, Manuel has shared her heartbreak with police and domestic violence agencies in an effort to make a difference. “It shouldn’t have been up to me to prove he was high risk. It shouldn’t have to come to a child’s death.”
See the original story at the Calgary Herald.
Our second award was received by V at 
Fathers Rights? Of Course this is about Fathers Rights.. If Equal Shared Parenting were presumed in the legal process, these men would not resort to the desperate acts you describe here. The Legal process for men leads only to bankruptcy both finanically and emotionally.
The transition for fathers from Parent to “Visitor” that is so often created by divorce in Western Nations is devastating. It is also immediate. The tactic used commonly in my area is for the mother to sneak away with the children when the father leaves for work. This “tactic” almost always guarantess that the mother will have Custody and the father will be a “Visitor” with an ATM sign on his forehead.
I have spent every dollar that I have to get an “interim” order for Equal Shared Parenting.. “Interim” because I still have an extensive legal battle to keep my Equal Shared Parenting arrangement. Then I still have to come up with the money to pay Spousal Support, Child Support, The Childrens Major Expenses, the Expenses of having the Children over half the time every week, and then the Mortgage, utilities, etc.. Most of which the court does not seem to consider as relevant because I am somehow less of a parent than the childrens mommy.
These poor desperate men and their children are victims of a system that chooses to alienate one parent over the other, and to prioritize the needs of the mother over both the children and the father. This is not opinion, this is fact.
When the law changes to reflect Equal Shared Parenting as the presumption in all divorces we will no longer see trajedies perpetrated by the victims of goverment sponsored folly.
Fathers Rights and Mothers Rights need to be conditioned against the Rights of the Children to love and be loved by both parents. Elimated the post seperations conflict, put a few lawyers out of work, and support Equal Shared Parenting as a presumption in all legislation.
Comment by Ryan A. Fox — December 23, 2008 @ 5:38 pm
Nobody should ever have the right to take a child’s life to spite the other parent. And although shared parenting may work for some, it absolutely is not the answer for a situation where one parent has abused the other, especially in front of the children. What is that telling the children…that one can get away with treating the spouse this way…when they grow up, abuse will be acceptable to them too. I’m sorry, but I can’t buy into the shared parenting scam when abusers start demanding it (or worse…sole custody), and get it from the courts. I do feel your pain though, Ryan, and hope you can get some resolve in your situation. Thank you for your comment.
Comment by justice4mothers — December 23, 2008 @ 5:49 pm
If Equal Shared Parenting were presumed in the legal process, these men would not resort to the desperate acts you describe here
How DARE you attempt to justify or excuse the behavior of murderer. You murderer-apologist!!!!Nothing further you said after that statement should be addressed. “These men?”–WTF are you talking about? You mean, these abusive, violent murders?
The Legal process for men leads only to bankruptcy both financially and emotionally.
For women also. For children also.
The transition for fathers from Parent to “Visitor” that is so often created by divorce
This “transition” is nothing more than the absence of a controlling marital relationship. The mere fact that everyone was living in the household at one point in time, does not take into account whether the father was an active participant in the child-rearing during that time. Delegation to “visitor status” may be very well a continuation of the marital lifestyle and privileges. May be.
…I am somehow less of a parent than the childrens mommy.
You may not be less of a parent, you may have parented less– in the sense of direct childcare.
These poor desperate men and their children are victims of a system that chooses to alienate one parent over the other, and to prioritize the needs of the mother over both the children and the father. This is not opinion, this is fact.
The only part that is a fact is that there are poor children that are victims. Prioritizing the needs of the mother, if this really occurs, could be related to the FACT that when the best indicator of a child’s success is the well-being of the MOTHER.
When the law changes to reflect Equal Shared Parenting as the presumption in all divorces we will no longer see trajedies perpetrated by the victims of goverment sponsored folly.
Yes, because MORE government and MORE regulation and MORE interference, actually SOLVES problems….right? NOT!
Rights of the Children to love and be loved by both parents.
Yep, children, as do all people, have a RIGHT to love whomever THEY chose–not who the GOVERNMENT chooses. No one stops any parent from loving his/her child. If you do, you do, if you don’t, you don’t. Love is expressed differently and people are free to interpret it as it fits their needs. Please stop acting like you’re so concerned with children’s rights.
Elimated the post seperations conflict YES, put a few lawyers out of work HELL YES , and support Equal Shared Parenting as a presumption in all legislation. What are you, working on Capitol Hill? Get outta here!
Comment by Rj — December 23, 2008 @ 7:37 pm
Ryan Fox
I can understand your situation with how expensive it is for you, when you may have been a perfectly good husband. I dont know the details of the breakdown of your marraige so I can not, nor would I comment. However there are cases in extremes in both directions. just because you have a bad situation does not mean that you should preseume that a man that murdered his son was in the same position as you. Did you take into consideration what the divorce did to my company finances? How do you think I felt when 700 tourists walked by my kiosk and saw words like whore associated with my personal name, and then listened to the police ridicule me infront of my business associates about it. I too was nearly bankrupted. This fight is not about fathers rights. It is about a situation of abuse where the services did not perform as they were mandated, and an abusive person used PARENTS rights to facilitate abuse. Please recognize there are different extremes. Please do not presume that ALL MEN are in the same unfair situation as you. The fights/descrimination continue when we choose to judge without information. This applies to you and your situation too. From what you describe you too have been judged unjustly. For that I do have sincere compassion for you as you too are in a difficult position.
Comment by Meara — March 7, 2009 @ 12:40 pm
One more note to both Ryan Fox and RJ
For the record, he was a visitor in the marraige. he spent more quality time with his son after I left. However, it was odd that at 3, after 2 years of regular weekly visits, my son still confused strangers that looked similar with his father. It is just a suspicion but I think he merely transported my son back and forth to his parents house, however there is no proof of that. Also, when I was young and my father moved out, we spent way more quality time together in his wednesday and sunday evening visits that we ever did before because he allotted specific one on one time with me where I did not have to contend with my brothers, or his two jobs, or my parents negative interactions or household duties.
Comment by Meara — March 7, 2009 @ 12:50 pm
[...] in the case of Bruce Pardo (Guys that Murder: “Gee, He Was Such a Nice Guy”), Rich Saunders (Yet Another Case of Father’s Rights? Custody Battle Blamed For Murder), and many [...]
Pingback by Are We on the Eve of Destruction? More Dads Wipe Out Entire Family « RightsForMothers.com — April 22, 2009 @ 12:16 pm